Struggling

I struggle to hide you,
I struggle to keep you in my grasp,
I struggle not to hurt everyone,
I struggle without help,
I struggle to allow help,
I struggle to tell anyone
I struggle to pretend you don't exist
and most of all I struggle with how it feels when you take control and I turn into a different person and have to be shaken out of it.

Confession of a struggling me to all those helpful yous.